post number three

today was the worst day ever. it started out okay.. practicing the piano with my cousin. "don't stop believin" i love that song. but it's kinda hard to keep believin' isn't it? i used to be so full of life i was positively bursting at the seams. you never saw me without a smile. i hadn't realized how withdrawn and indifferent i'd become until the last few times i saw my Pop he had to remind me to smile every time i came into his sight. it felt fake and forced everytime i put it on my face. then again, it usually does.

have you ever had a secret? one that wasn't yours? one that you kept bc you convinced yourself you it would hurt someone you love? even though it's just you being unconsciously selfish?
i have.

but honestly, if this secret would kill him, how could you let him find out?
but can i keep it from him any longer?

because i'm breaking. it's ruining me. i'm suffocating quickly.