post number twenty one

My name is Alex,

Sometimes, breathing hurts.

i am so beyond tired it is pitiful. i had a reeallly good night though,. drove around with k and h suprisingly. and i'm glad, because i have a big feeling it won't be the last.. we went to see d. he is so awkward it's cute. r finally messaged me bback, bastard. i am positively sick with jealousy at the thoght of him and her. but do i really want him? we;d all better hope so

k is hurting lately.. i hate to see it

my cousin j is home. it makes my life brighter and yet shadowed at the same time.

i'm probably going to change my mind about r and i'll be killed.

can he PLEASE just kisss me? helllll

i have a lot more to say but my eyes are dropppingg. so i will update about myself tomorrow

Cause you're hoping you're wrong, & every
time he does something that tells you he's no good, you ignore it. And every time he comes through &
surprises you, he wins you over, & you lose that
argument with yourself that he's not for you.

He goes out of his way to stare at you.
Trust me, I've watched him do it.


Your worst battle is between
what you know & what you feel.

the shit you hear about me might
be true, but then again it could be
as fake as the bitch that told you.

when someone tells you you're not good enough,
that's when you know you're better .

they all laughed at me
when i told them someday i would be
somebody famous, somebody smart,
someone who could make the red sea part.
i'd be bigger than jesus.

 "don't try to be different. just be good.
to be good is different enough."
- Arthur Freed

"Here's to all the girls who used to be his number one. The ones who waited all night for him to call, only to check the caller ID the next morning & be disappointed. The ones who made it through that bitter break up, dried your own tears, & moved on with your life, only to have him walk back in it months later like nothing ever happened. Those of you who cried on the first day you talked again because you knew exactly where this phone call was going. The ones who listened to him say, "I only want to be your friend" one day, and the next, listened to him say how much he loves & misses you. We deserve something, and this is our tribute. Here's to the ones that took him back, hoping that maybe this time, he was different, hoping that maybe people really do change. We listened to our friends tell us that we were stupid for even thinking about giving him another chance, caught crap from our parents, & even snuck around to see him for while. We went through the great stage with no fights all over again. We started this out thinking we would be just friends, & ended up falling in love with him again. We wanted nothing more in the world than to hear him tell us he loved us too, that even though things were bad in the past, they would be different this time. And when we finally heard it, it was like we were dreaming. This is for us. Here's to the ones who believed what he said, sat around all over again waiting for a phone call that might come in a few hours, or a few days. Here's for the tears cried and dried all over again. We wanted so desperately to believe that he was really busy, he couldn't possibly call us at that moment, or even that he fell asleep early. We trained ourselves to believe the lies because we wanted to believe we had found the one for us. We learned to settle for someone who didn't treat us the way we should be treated. Here's for the ones who did their hair and makeup & put on their prettiest earrings, only to hear him say that he couldn't see us today. The ones who never believed it when people told us there might be someone else. We just couldn't believe that he could do this to us again. This is for those great girls, who loved him more than words can say, & took him back no matter what happened last time because they couldn't bear to look back on their lives one day & wonder "what if". This is for the girls that stayed up all night long listening to him whine about an ex girlfriend who cheated on him, & cried during the entire conversation. The ones who hoped he would realize that he deserved better, that he deserved us. When he said that he loved you, but he was in love with her, he didn't mean it. This is for the ones that held on to something that was never there to begin with. This is for us girls, who somehow managed to get him to forget about her, & get him to tell us that he was in love with us again, only to have him tell us three weeks later that "things were going too fast, he needs time". Here's to the girls who couldn't cry to their friends because of how stupid they felt. The ones who held it all in when things came crumbling to pieces again. This is for the ones who couldn't bear to even tell their mom what was going on, for fear of an "I told you so". The ones that could just tell that they had made a mistake by ever allowing him into their hearts & their dreams again. We knew that we deserved better the entire time that we deserved a guy who would call when he said he was going to, one that would come see us whenever he got the chance, one that would really care about us. We just wanted the one that we loved like that. Here's for the ones that finally realized that he never gave a crap about them. Here's for the time that he broke your heart again. This is for those days spent trying to hold back the tears, & the tears that turned into anger, then disappointment. Here are for us girls who finally realized that we deserve better. This is for those confusing days, when you miss him & want nothing more than to hear his voice, or feel his arms around your waist. Stay strong and remember that relationships are like broken glass; sometimes it's better to leave it alone rather than try to put the pieces back together & get hurt. Remember the times you cried & how long it took you to even be able to look at another guy like that. When 'your song' comes on the radio, turn the station. When the day comes that he realizes what a mistake he made & tries calling, turn your phone off. When he tries coming to your house, don't answer the door. Think of the broken promises, and the lies, the manipulation & the tears, the wasted moments and staying up all night wondering where the hell he was. Think of how your heart used to jump when your phone would vibrate in the middle of the night & how it fell to your stomach when you saw it wasn't him, and realized that once again, he hadn't called when he said he was going to. One day you'll find a guy, who's worth all the tears, but he won't make you cry. You may think that you'll never care about someone like you did that guy that you always ran back to, but you will. It's going to hurt like hell, & it's going to need time to heal, but the point is, it will heal. This is for those girls who fell back in love with their ex, only to get hurt all over again."

No matter what your status is, everyone has someone in the
world they'd marry tomorrow if asked by them today.

just because someone doesnt love you the way you want them to, doesnt mean they dont love you with all they have <3

I think were just going to have to be secretly in love with eachother and leave it at that.

If I had a snowflake for everytime I thought of you
We'd have a really white christmas
--Charlie Brown

I like to think of Jesus as
a ninja fighting off evil samurai.

See that's my problem.
Nothing ever happens
So I sit around and do nothing about nothing happening
And when people tell me to just get up and do something
Something inside me says no
So I sit down and wait for nothing to happen again. 

An old man was sitting on a bench when a teenager with a rainbow mohawk walked by.
The old man stared at him.
Seeing him stare, the teenager said
"what's the matter old-timer, never done anything crazy in your life?"
The old man replied.
"Many years ago, I got drunk at a wild party and had sex with a parrot."
"I was wondering if you were my son" :)

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
Mark Twain

 

 

Don't feel stupid for missing him, even if he treated you like shit. You still had happy memories and you're always gonna miss them. Don't try to replace him because you won't. Just get through each day and eventually it will get better. I promise. Eventually someone will come into your life and whether or not you realize it, they are going to be something special to you. So don't throw yourself at every guy you see, trying to replace him, or at least the dull memories, because you're only going to make yourself see how hard he is to replace. Someone better will eventually come along.  

Sometimes, someone can mean so much to you that not even the truth can change your mind.

 

 

People are just people, they shouldn't make you nervous

 

 

She doesn't care if you call her and wake her up in the middle of the night. She hates arguing, but you know she's good at it. She's terrified of the dark, but when she thinks of you, she smiles. She laughs at your jokes even if they're dumb. She loves the way you look at her, and she wouldn'tworld. change that for the

 

 

your friends should always come first.
but real friends would never make you choose

 

 

& im just starting to realizethat we live in order to change someone elses life


you know damn well we'd go crazy without eachother


When I think about everyone that I've lost,
everyone that has left me,
everyone that actually matters to me,
no matter how much they meant to me at the time,
what hurts the most are,
the " what could of been's. "


Everyone enjoys a game of make believe now and then. Of course, the ways in which we play can vary greatly. Sometimes we tell ourselves work won't interfere with our family life. Sometimes, we imagine certain relationships to be more meaningful than they really are. Occasionally, we put on a show, as if to convince ourselves our secrets aren't really all that terrible. Yes, the game of make believe is a simple one. You start by lying to yourself and if you can get others to believe those lies, you win. -Desperate Houswives


It's weird to think about
how different your life
would be if you never met
the people who changed it.


& he's the kinda guy where
i check my cell phone
for a missed call
right after i get out of the shower


true strength is being able to
hold it all together ...when
no one would blame you for'
falling apart


It's amazing how all this can be happening.
I mean, my whole life is falling apart
and yet, every time I talk to him, I stop
feeling sorry for myself, and I begin to smile.
He always has that effect over me.


This little girl didn't care what anybody said
She got the whole world dancing to the music in her head
They loved to trash her bad, laugh at her, and call her names
And now they all try to copy her, isn't that a shame
It only made her stronger.


right now you're talking about something that went
on today in school, or some day. i don't know. i'm listening
though, i really am. i'm just distracted by the fact that at
moments like these, i'm completely in love with you,
for reasons you can't even begin to imagine.


She has future plans and dreams at night
When they tell her life is hard she says that's alright


       people always say best friends willtrade the icky green popcicle for
the yummy pink one, but that's not
true, because my best friends say
fuck you just eat the damn thing


dont tell me to get over you
im already over you
its what we had that i cant get over