post number nine

so the countdown for back to school is getting pretty crazy. however, with our brand new school almost complete.. almost isn't quite good enough. we will be delayed. woo! as if the tenth isn't the latest we've ever gone back anyway! but, it's gonna make the workload ridiculous. i love my crime show, criminal minds so much. and i love my doctor show, grey's anatomy. now i have a newfound love for rookie blue. and being the hormonal teenager that is me, i'm all about the showmance. and of course i'm the type of girl who wants the couple together that want each other but dance around each other and date all the wrong people. oh woes me. life's not terrible lately. it's not great.. but hey, you get better and better at coping. at least i hope anyway. i'm sure my progress will be shot to hell when dad goes back but hey, what else is new? nothing.

I don’t want the moon and the stars,
I just want someone to lay under them with.

Gigi: Look, I just went out with your friend Bill. He might be exactly what I need. No drama, he calls, he does what he says…
Alex: I can do that stuff too.
Gigi: But you didn’t! And a wise person told me that I’m the rule. That I have to stop thinking every guy will change, that I have to stop thinking that - *Alex kisses her* - I’m the exception.
Alex: You are my exception.
-He’s Just Not That Into You

Sometimes I think
the surest sign that intelligent life
exists elsewhere in the universe
is that none of it
has tried to contact us.

I believe in second chances,
I just dont think everyone deserves them.

She's so fake, I bet if you look behind her neck it says, "Made in China".

Life kicks you around sometimes. It scares you and it beats you up. But there's one day when you realize you're not just a survivor, you're a fighter. You're tougher than anything life throws your way. And you are.

 I recognize that I'm damaged
I sympathize that you are too

"I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow; but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing."

All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost

  

I'm bold and angry and tortured and tremendous and I notice when someone has changed their hair part, or when someone is wearing two very distinctly different shades of black or when someone changes the natural temperament of their voice on the phone. I don't give out empty praise. I'm not complacent or well-adjusted. I can't spend fifteen minutes breathing and stretching and getting in touch with myself. I can't spend three minutes finishing an article. I have no sense of direction and I can't sleep at night because I feel that there is so much to do and fix and change in the world, and I wonder every day if I am making a difference and if I will ever express the greatness within me, or if I will remain forever paralyzed by muddled madness inside my head. I've wept on every birthday I've ever had because life is huge and fleeting and I hate certain people and certain shoes and I feel that life is terribly unfair and sometimes beautiful and wonderful and extraordinary but also numbing and horrifying and insurmountable and I hate myself a lot of the time. The rest of the time I adore myself and I adore my life in this island and in this world we live in. This huge and wondrous, bewildering, brilliant, horrible world.

Eventually something you love is going to be taken away. And then you will fall to the floor crying. And then, however much later, it is finally happening to you: you’re falling to the floor crying thinking, “I am falling to the floor crying,” but there’s an element of the ridiculous to it — you knew it would happen and, even worse, while you’re on the floor crying you look at the place where the wall meets the floor and you realize you didn’t paint it very well.

He started to look at me in a manner I recognized: it was the way I looked at a new book, one I had never read before, one that surprised me with all it had to say.

^  decorating consists of bookshelves favorite!

I don’t want you, that ship sailed. i just want something other than this.

^ i have a best friend who follows this religiously and will understand this quote and who it is for when she sees it..

Sometimes it seems like we're all living in some kind of prison. And the crime is how much we hate ourselves. It's good to get really dressed up once in a while and admit the truth: that when you really look closely, people are so strange and so complicated that they're actually...beautiful. Possibly even me.
- My So Called Life

The hurt began to fade and it was easier to just let go. At least I thought it was. But in every boy I met in the next few years, I found myself looking for you, and when the feelings got too strong I'd write you another letter. But I never sent them, in fear of what I might find. By then, you'd gone on with your life and I didn't want to think about you loving someone else. I wanted to remember us like we were that summer. I didn't want to ever forget that
-Nicholas Sparks

I wanted to stay on that porch with him until the sun shone bright on both of us, but I didn’t. I stood up and walked down the steps. I’d rather chase the sun than wait for it.

"i don't want to lose you." his voice almost a whisper. seeing his haggard expression, she took his hand and squeezed it, then reluctantly let it go. she could feel the tears again, and she fought them back. "but you don't want to keep me, either, do you?" to that, he had no response.

Alice: I simply must get through.
Doorknob: Sorry, you're much too big, simply impassible.
Alice: You mean impossible?
Doorknob: No, impassible. Nothing's impossible.
-Alice in Wonderland

there's been this guy in my life, forever. and when everything's been going wrong, i've needed him. but he's not around anymore. i wish he'd wake the hell up and see me. see me. i'm here. i'm still here. it was supposed to be me and him against the world. where'd you go? come find me.. i'll wait forever. promise.