post number thirty one

not a long update tonight. i did something different at the bottom. enjoy.

 

everyday people ask me " are you two going out ?
" and you don't realize how painful it is to reply, " no , we're just friends

There's a point in life when you get tired of chasing
everyone & trying to fix everything, but it's not giving
up. It's realizing that you don't need certain people &
all the crap they put you through.

I’ve tried to forget you. I’ve tried to move on. But every time I get
anywhere close, memories come flooding back to me. People ask
me what ever happened between us… I don’t know how to answer
them. Truth is… I don’t even know what happened between us. One
second we were great, the next you were gone.

Technically I''m single,
but emotionally I'm completely taken,
because in my mind I will always be his girl.
Even though he doesn't want me anymore

<3<3<3<3<3

Technically I''m single,
but emotionally I'm completely taken,
because in my mind I will always be his girl.
Even though he doesn't want me anymore

Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass who pays for everything.
- Paris Hilton.

All you have to do in life is go out with your friends, party hard, and look twice as good as the bitch standing next to you.
- Paris Hilton

I like him. But I loved you. I was so in love with you. I let you go because I had to. Because it hurt too much. I needed to be able to look at you and still see this great guy that was trustworthy and understanding. I needed to be able to look at you and see my best friend, not just another person who let me down. I moved on, yes, but that doesn’t mean that I’ve forgotten. And that doesn’t mean that I won’t be here anymore if you ever want to come back.

The one promise I know I can keep is that
you are going to regret losing me.

i saw on another blog today where she had done letters for people. things you just don't say, but wish you could. i had a few of my own letters to write.

dear mom: simply, you have ruined my life. each and every time you look at me or open your mouth, i cringe. because i'm 99% sure, it's a lie. you are a lie. you always have been. everything you are and do. you're a sick joke of a human being and a mother. i have raised your children for you, i keep your house and i cover your lies. but i won't do it anymore.. because i can't stand you. everyday i get up and i am thankful for the people who have stepped in and raised me. i know i'm an amazing human being. i am everything you're not. and maybe i have you to thank for that. because i will work like hell to be anything but you.

dear dad: i look past how cranky you can be, because i know where it comes from. i love you so much. you've been such a mom to me. you draw on my lunch bag and you leave me notes and you remember everything. your homemade cards make me cry and i wish i could tell you. everytime we're alone i try and tell you. i promise i do. but my throat jams up and my head says no. bc she is the idiot who has caused you this pain. i will not be the face or the voice that you associate with such heart break. i love you daddy and i wish i was braver for you.

dear bestfriend: you complete my life. i wish i could tell you sometimes how strong you are. you are unbelieveably strong. you're too emotionally detached for me to tell you these things though. you've put up with a lot in your life and you're a better person for it. you're an idiot and that's my favorite part about you. you're always right (although i'lll never admit that again). we've been through a lot and it has always been me and you. it always will be. no questions asked. i hope you know how much i love you, i couldn't function without you.

dear boy: all these quotes on here are for you. and they're all right. i'll say it simply, i, as i told you, will not waste my time, stop messing around and realize what is right in front of you.

dear life: you've made your point. life isn't perfect. i get it. you can stop now. i can't take anymore, i'm tired. i've done everything you've asked of me thus far. i don't put a toe out of line. maybe it's time you started giving back. please? maybe once everything is out you'll lift all this off of my shoulders. maybe you're waiting for the same thing i am. don't hold your breathe; i've definitely learned not to.

dear anyone who has helped raise me: thankyou. i can't really say it any other way than that. i'd be no where without your, pity i guess you could call it. you've all touched my lives and made me the woman i see in the mirror everyday. i hope i've lit up your lives the way you do mine, every, single day.

xoxo